Readers Digest Author, Lisa Fields has written about her discovery of a sense of rhythm. She states: “After decades of self-consciousness, I yearned to let loose on the dance floor.” She was asked if she would like to dance, by a recent boyfriend. She hesitated but he encouraged her to try it, saying: “You’ll enjoy it!”
She writes: “Deep down, I’ve always loved how free I felt on the few occasions when I allowed myself to move with complete abandon at a packed nightclub… Most other times that I felt compelled to dance, I was tense and awkward, worried that everyone was watching and would see that I was doing it ‘wrong.’ ”
“As a teen, I waited endlessly for me dad to provide my Brady-style lessons,but he never offered and I never asked. At school dances, I’d sway to power ballads with boys at arm’s length but, whenever a fast song began, I’d dash for the closest chair. I was shy and self-conscious and didn’t want to look foolish around my peers.”
In high school, when they taught YMCA dance moves, the teen teaching us rebuked me in front of everyone.” (She goes on in the article with similar examples but ends with a victory! However, she remembers a boyfriend who was even shyer than she was. Also, she saw the solution to the shyness. She began to see that life, in the world we live in, is full of critical attitudes and that the notion of fixing things is to be critical.)
At this point, must reflect of my own 44 year marriage. In spite of an educational system, which buys into that ancient Greek school which teaches the need to think critically, my late wife and I never fought! I know this seems impossible to most people in today’s world, but our daughter has a different experience. One day when
I was showing a new volunteer, called Lan, around the my daughter’s conservation facility in Port Adelaide, Australia. When I mentioned that my daughter was my CEO. This new person was surprised and asked: “Don’t you fight?” I said “No” at that moment. However, later over coffee, I mentioned to my Lan’s surprise that we don’t fight. My daughter’s reply was “We never learned!” I imagine that she doesn’t fight with anyone nor believe that criticism is effective in her work and marriage. I think she seeks to find the motivations of others’ apparent mistakes and perhaps conveys alternatives without criticism.