In my very first post on this Blog, included quick comments from Dale Carnegie. These were in a context of explaining my actions with a bank teller. Here’s what I said: “Recently, I went to the bank and I had to wait for the teller to return to her post. She was smiling and 40 years younger than I. She said: ‘I thought everything was ready, but I’m sorry to keep you waiting.’ I said: ‘Your smile is worth waiting for!’ She replied: ‘That’s sweet!’ It’s hard to say which of us was more inspired!” After that I mentioned that years ago Dale Carnegie said: “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.” He also said: “Be hearty in approbation and lavish with praise.”
As I reviewed an audible.com book, read from Carnegie’s original book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, I became aware that the book has enjoyed 75 reprints over the decades and yet it took me until lately to know of it’s existence as as book. As was mentioned in the first post, if we continue in our “devil-may-care” nihilistic rejection of customary beliefs and ideas about how things should be in society, we are not likely to inspire anyone! As a famous, couplet goes:
“Once, I did bad and I heard ever.
Twice, I did good and I heard never.”
My stepfather was trained in the US Navy and learned that criticism and punishment are the high road to discipline and control. Yet, last Century, Sigmund Freud was certain that we are all born with a “desire to be important” and before last Century, William James pointed out that we are all “born with a craving to be appreciated.”
Having listened to the Carnegie audible book many times, I am convinced that it ought to be compulsory reading in every tertiary educational institution across the “Western World.” At this point, I observe the news and other public affairs commentaries and I can see that the Carnegie ideas would give a great lift to our young citizens. As I hold three degrees in Psychology, I understand that the only way we can engender the right behaviour is through “positive reinforcement.” It is amazing that only animal trainers know this. Yet, those of us who are charged with education of human beings, are inclined to expect the right behaviour and punish when it is absent.
I always let what I write, “cool off” for 24 hours and then look for typos and other accidents in the stream of consciousness. I woke this morning thinking of this post and a young lady named Truly-Belle Couper came to mind. Last July, she had invited me to present a DVD called THE POWER OF THE HEART to her group of Art Therapists, after she saw my presentation to the local Psychology and Health Forum. So, I presented it to these Art Therapists and was thanked and paid some cash on that evening. Yet, I can’t remember if I had thanked Truly-Belle for her initiative. Fortunately, for me, she came to mind today and I wrote myself a diary note to do it today!
I imagine that some mechanism could be coupled with speed cameras etc., to send our congratulations to motorists who never violate the speed limits! For me, it is inspiring, just to think of the idea!