Recently, I have listened to books recorded by Audible.com and sold as an audio book sometimes read by the author. For example Richard Brodie, author of Microsoft Word, wrote VIRUS OF THE MIND; The New Science of the Meme.
Some time ago, I listened to him reading his own book for Audible.com and currently I have been listening Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Dale Carnegie’s style is of a storyteller. When he wanted to make a point he remembered, in his study of history, someone whose style was grumpy and critical and yet was changed by beginning his or her remarks being “hearty in approbation and lavish with praise” for example. Carnegie’s ideas are an inspiration and I am already smiling habitually, as I come in contact people.
My doctor friend wrote this in his newsletter and permitted me to quote him but the italics are mine:“I would never have believed that I’d have to go through this. I’d innocently asked a question of a colleague after we’d both watched an inspiring video together – “do you have any comments?” Out poured a torrent of strong feeling about how unfair Life was, and I was, and a catalogue of complaints about me. I was taken aback by the intensity of this outburst. It was SO TEMPTING for ME to feel that this was UNFAIR on ME!
Then I remembered what’s really happening here. I realised that people don’t say such things unless they feel safe enough to do so. We are not by nature Kamikaze pilots or suicide bombers! So if she was letting out these words and feelings, there was something about NOW that was making it safe enough for her to do so. That helped reassure me it was all OK. What to do next? I recognised that what’s happening in her is not about me at all. It’s her stuff. And what she needs from me is to be able to express herself fully so that these feelings can be released. She needs me to “hold her” without touching. To provide that feeling of safety and acceptance that she must have felt safe at the start to get this ball rolling. That’s when I tapped into a rich inner resource – the inner warmth of my loving acceptance and the light of my understanding.
She needed to know that even when she was expressing all this mucky stuff from inside herself, she was still held by Love – that Love would not desert her because she was upset. And here I was, Love’s representative, to bring that assurance to her. What a privilege this became!
With this growing awareness in myself, I could feel the radiance, the warmth of the love in my heart increasing. I could see where the Light of understanding was needed to gently rebut beliefs she held that were simply not true and which were holding her prisoner. As that continued, she relaxed and said that she didn’t believe what she had been saying! What a turnaround from yelling abuse to laughing together! We could both laugh at that!”
If Dale Carnegie had seen this quote, he too would smile. I certainly found it disarmingly similar to those quotes in Carnegie’s book and I am inspired to smile with such wisdom. What I can do now is put all of my energy into looking for more experiences that will open me up to those new dimensions of reality!