Happy New Year → 2014!
Recently Dr. Brene’ Brown released another book in her quest to tell of her research on shame and fear because people need to release these in order withstand vulnerability. Also, for some time, she has referred to fear, uncertainty and grief, around the disappointing of significant others, as “the dark side of vulnerability.” Yet, she has data and first hand experience that vulnerability is also a “birth-place” of love, compassion and empathy! Moreover, overcoming vulnerability is, for all to see, the releaser for being Whole Hearted. In her recent book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You are , Dr. Brown laments that Executives and others who arrange for her to talks to employees, have been reluctant for her to talk of “the dark side” of fear, uncertainty, grief; also her understanding of releasing the “dark side” and the importance of embracing the “light side” as birthplace of love, empathy toward Creativity, Innovation, Change, which they actually crave in their staff. Thus, the Ego mind dictates what can be done and what they are willing to consider.
We have considered this reluctance as a result of Richard Brodie’s Virus of the Mind. Brodie sees this word “Virus” as something that is received by a host, which allows for the “Virus” or “meme” to spread to other minds. Of course, as I already reported, the Ego-mind is a recorder of memes but we also have evolutionary implications, as memes pass through the consciousness, potentially alerting the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) without due consideration of the source. Thus, the conscious mind seems justified in alarming us with fear, uncertainty and grief or shame. Dr. Brene’ Brown also laments that a careless mind can’t tell the difference between shame (I’m bad) and guilt (I did something bad). She adds that some may believe that shame indicates that one is flawed. Thus the perfectionist fears vulnerability. Also, recent news reports, state that many busy moms and office workers use addictive drugs including meth-amphetamines to make it through the day. This also points to the reluctance to talk of pressures with those who might help.
Yet, Dr. Brown reports that talking about shame helps to understand it: “we all have it, we are all prone to fear, yet reluctant to talk about some things we all experience.” Furthermore, “we all crave Love and Belonging. We must believe we are worthy of love and belonging!” This yields a “sense of Worthiness and this is at the Heart of Whole-Heartedness!” Brene’ goes on to state that it is the basis of Courage, Compassion and Connection!
I personally must admit that I hope this post can be a Worthiness meme that will spread from mind to mind. In spite of concerns about how this will be received, I can only say I am inspired by these qualities and characteristics of Whole-Heartedness. We see it at the Olympic Games but I hope the Whole-Heartedness Virus becomes epidemic and that is my heartfelt inspiring thought!
This question is for other Bloggers: Would you offer words of encouragement to your readers? Even when the helpless media are saying: “If it bleeds, it leads!” Are we just fascinated by other people’s pathos?